Lost in Translation

I had meetings all afternoon at the community college in preparation for the spring semester, which starts on Monday.  First, I'm guessing the college got majorly sued recently because we got hammered with copyright law details in all the meetings.  Second, while I understand why these meetings have to occur, I just don't quite understand what these meetings do for me beyond reiterating stuff I read (because I really do read stuff about my employer!).  I have many examples from today below:

VP says:  You should probably insert something your syllabus about grading so that there aren't any questions.  Students like the clarity.
I hear:  PUT IT IN YOUR SYLLABUS BEFORE I ROAST YOU LIKE A MARSHMALLOW WHEN THE SCHOOL IS SLAPPED WITH AN ELEVENTY-BILLION-DOLLAR LAWSUIT.  OH, AND STUDENTS CAN'T READ OR PAY ATTENTION.

Admin Asst:  Finals are from Wednesday thru Monday.
Me:  What about Tuesday/Thursday classes?
Admin Asst says:  You give your final on Thursday.
I hear:  Obviously, you do not get a full 15 weeks to teach your class like everyone else.  You lose an entire day to fit my schedule, and don't you dare schedule something on that Tuesday marked "last class" when I just told you that finals end on MONDAY.  HOW DARE YOU QUESTION WHETHER I MADE A MISTAKE ON MY HANDOUT.

Librarian says:  Make use of our facility!  We have great resources for faculty and students!  Beware copyright law!  Ask questions and we have answers!  I'm super perky!
I hear:  There are large chocolate chip cookies on a plate behind me that smell delicious and taste even better.  Isn't it a shame I'm talking so you can't rush the table and grab fistfuls of their chocolately goodness to shamelessly stuff in your face?

Dept Chair says:  This is a list of materials that are copyright-law protected.  Use this worksheet to figure out if it falls under Fair Use.  If the student doesn't own it via a textbook, be careful.
I hear:  Everything you use in you class is a violation of copyright law, the school will be sued for eleventy billion more dollars because you decided to use #24 white paper instead of #60 white, you cheapskate.  Sacrifice your children now to the Copyright Gods so that we may all have peace this semester.

You get my drift.  My mind wandered, I felt harangued, and I just wasn't in the mood to deal with all this do-this-do-that stuff.  In all honesty, I know it's important stuff.  I know I'll follow their guidelines, but does it really have to be presented in this format?  Why not make it more fun?  Tiring, boring, and I'm still longing for cookie goodness.