Dear Trashy Romance Author,
I read your garbage prose as a way to relieve stress and have a light piece of fluff to enjoy before I go to bed at night. I expect a horrible plot, stupid characters, idiotic ways of talking about romantic things, and lots of sex. When I read your entire 220 page book and there is not one. f*ing. instance. of. sex, I get a little pissed off. Why did I spend so much time reading this book if you're not going to do anything with your characters?!?? I'm highly disappointed in your story and wish you'd rewrite it to include more sex. Please see the Fifty Shades trilogy if you are unfamiliar with "sex."
On another notes, I am going to write to your publishing company and tell them to start putting a sex count on the back of each book so I can decide if I'm going to read it. 1? Pfft. 12? Okay, I'll pay $3 for this book! Work on your writing, you lazy trashy romance author.
No Love, Me
ps - Also, where the f* did you come up with your plot? It's worse than a soap opera!
pss - Yes, I know, I read it, I get what I deserve...
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