Damn frustrating kids!

I realize my daughters are 4 and 2, but I still have a few expectations of them.  They include:

1.  When she wants something, she uses her words, not pointing and grunting in an imperious tone.
2.  When she wants something, she says "please" and "thank you."
3.  She will take turns with her sister when playing with toys, even if they are her toys.
4.  She will not be mean to anyone, especially someone in the family (e.g. Daddy).
5.  When she sits down to eat a meal, she will eat.  Period.

#5 is in bold because this is a constant problem and I just had a meltdown over it tonight.  It doesn't seem to matter if they like or hate what is in front of them, if they specifically requested it, or if it is exactly the same as Mommy and Daddy's dinners - they. won't. eat.  I have tried bribery ("you can have ice cream if you finish your dinner!"), threats ("no Daniel Tiger if you don't eat your dinner"), being nice, being mean, leaving them alone at the table, spoon feeding everything, and even trying to make the food look cute (e.g. happy face in applesauce, string cheese peeled into a flower, etc.).  NOTHING.  WORKS.  They will eat about 25-50% of what is on their plates and then refuse to eat anymore, especially E.  They will talk talk talk, play with the food, drink everything in their cups, try to play with other things on the table, and pretty much anything else instead of eat.  It's not like I give them too much to eat either - they can easily eat what is on the plate and have seconds if they wanted.

I am so fed up with it.  I spend a lot of time thinking about what to feed them to make them happy, keep them healthy, and provide a good variety of things to eat.  Then, I go and get the food, prepare it, cook/bake/microwave it, make sure they have everything they need, honor requests, and what do I get?  Two little girls who mix their foods together to the point that they won't eat it (because, frankly, spaghetti in applesauce with carrots on top is just gross), food hidden in napkins and thrown on the floor, crying and begging to leave the table, one freaking noodle on the fork at a time, gagging sounds and motions every time they are forced to eat a bite, etc. 

Tonight, I made lemon pasta for them.  To make it really simple, I just put that and applesauce on their plates, gave them milk, and that was that.  They complained, wouldn't eat, played, and just generally didn't eat what was in front of them.  I literally wanted to cry.  I spent almost a hour putting together the pasta for the family while mediating fights, watching the girls as they played outside, and keeping the dog from going crazy every time someone passed the front door.  I'll admit I yelled at them.  I asked, why should I bother making food for you when you won't eat any of it?  What's the point?  Why should I do something for you when you won't do the same for me?!??  And that, I think, is the crux of it.  As I said at the start, I realize they are 4 and 2, but the double standard here is ridiculous.  I can't bend over backwards to help them out when they won't budge an inch to help me.  I let the husband take care of them tonight after dinner because I just couldn't be around them. 

So, I dread tomorrow when the same thing will happen with every meal.  However, there will be no snacks until meals begin to be eaten.  Period.  I don't care how much crying, yelling, and pleading happens - no snacks.  Nothing.  They can have water but THAT'S.  IT.  Maybe they'll get it through their thick skulls that Mama is not playing games about eating, and wasting food is a huge no-no for me.  We'll see.