Starting to worry...

In about three weeks, my mom, myself, L, and E are flying to Japan to visit my family over there.  It's been a long time in the making - I've wanted to take L back since she was born in 2009 but just haven't bit the bullet.  Once E was born, I thought "I've really got to get them overseas sometime soon."  But, again, I just didn't move on it.  My impetus to finally get things in gear was my grandfather's passing in August this past year.  He was 96, so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but the fact that I couldn't go to his funeral was.  The girls didn't have passports (I hadn't even gotten that far in my thought process), and I couldn't leave E at home since she was still nursing, so I was totally screwed in going.  I cried for probably three days because I couldn't go with my mom and brother.  I was the only one of my grandfather's five grandchildren that was there and I felt so guilty for it.  In any case, I finally got my ass in gear and got the girls their passports in September, talked my mom into coming with us for a visit, and then finally bought plane tickets in January for this spring.

Now I'm starting to get to the point where I'm beginning to panic about traveling so far away with the girls.  I mean, my grandmother's house won't even have a crib, so all of us will be piled in futons on the floor.  How's that going to work?  We're not traveling with car seats, so it will be public transportation and walking all the way.  How am I supposed to manage two girls, luggage, and being on a plane/bus?  What about food?  Food is similar everywhere, but what if the girls won't eat anything that my mom or grandmother prepares?  Where the heck am I going to get food?  What am I going to do to entertain them?  How am I going to keep them out of all the things they're not supposed to play with while we're there?  How are we going to deal with a house that isn't insulated very well against temperatures that drop to freezing at night?!??  Ugh.  Mom tells me "don't worry, it'll be fine" but I can't help worrying about how my girls will take it.  I don't want it to be a bad experience for them or me, but I feel like it might just turn out that way.  Always look at the positive, right?  But sometimes I can't see the positive beyond everything else.  I'm sure my grandmother (and rest of the family) will love meeting the girls, but at what cost to my sanity?!??

That's where my brain is today.  I wish I had an answer for everything but...I don't.  We'll see how it goes, I suppose.  Thank goodness Mom is coming along!

Little (half) Japanese me (1981)