A birthday in the family

Today is L's third birthday.  Third!  How did she get to be 3?!??  I have a little girl now, not a baby anymore.  It's so strange to think that way.

Three years ago today, I remembering sitting in a labor room waiting for our C-section to happen.  I was completely terrified by the thought of A) having surgery, B) having a baby, and C) being a parent.  I mean, who in their right mind would entrust me with a baby?  But then we were walking to the OR (super cold, by the way), getting my spinal, laying on the table, watching the nurses and doctors prep, and then waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.  My husband sat by my head behind the blue sheet with me while I lay wrapped in blankets for confirmation that our baby was, indeed, a little girl, and that she was okay.  I remember hearing her even before she was born:  she started crying while they were trying to pull her out, and she was stuck behind my ab muscles.  She finally came out and gave this raspy cry for a few seconds, and I can't even describe the feeling of that moment.  It was...incredible.  They took her across the room to the little baby warming area (I couldn't see it because the blue sheet was blocking my view), and then they asked my husband to come over to hold her.  Keep in mind that my husband had, until that point, never held a baby in his life.  He was suddenly being handed his brand-new infant daughter and being asked to carry her across the room to me so I could see her.  I don't know how he did it (I probably would have tripped or dropped her!), but he did.  I remember the anaesthesiologist saying "here she is, look over here!," turning my head, and suddenly there was her little face peeking out at me from the blankets she was wrapped in.  I couldn't believe it:  she was mine.  All too soon they had to take her to the nursery, and I remember thinking I couldn't get any happier than I was at that moment.  I could not WAIT to hold her.

Now, she loves hugs and kisses.  She gives them freely.  She tells me "love you" at night, insists on having me when she gets a boo-boo, and sometimes even cries when I have to go to work or leave somewhere.  She's an amazing little person, and I'm so glad to have her in my life.  I can't imagine my life without her anymore, and I hope I never have to live without her.

Happy 3rd Birthday L!  Mommy loves you dearly.  <3 <3 <3

L at birth - 1/7/2009

L on her 3rd birthday, 1/7/2012